Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic…

When we got engaged last July, we knew we wanted a casual wedding. We kept saying we just want to have a backyard party with all our favorite people, some good food and good music. We picked September because both of our parents were also married that month. We even joked about trying to pull off a wedding in two months and get married that September. Figuring that would be crazy and stressful we opted for September 2020 (now right around the corner). We obviously had no clue what 2020 would bring and that we would be faced with trying to plan a wedding during a pandemic. 

The Proposal:

Before I get into the details of trying to plan this wedding, I want to tell the story of the proposal because it was perfect. Raf and I had been talking about getting married and what style rings I liked but neither of us were in a rush, we were happy in our relationship. I didn’t have a clue what my ring size was and Raf kept teasing me that if I wanted a ring I needed to figure out my size. Little did I know, he was being a detective and bought a ring sizer, found an old ring of mine that fit my finger and figured out my ring size all on his own. He then got my whole family involved. Which still blows my mind that none of them gave it away. Every year for the Fourth of July my family goes to a lake in Vermont. We have been doing that since before I could walk. So the day after the Fourth, he got everyone to casually plan a hike to the top of this mountain with an amazing view of the lake. I almost ruined it all when that morning Raf wasn’t feeling well and I told him there's no need to hike, we can stay and chill at the lake. And when he started putting things in a backpack, I gave him a hard time telling him it wasn’t needed, it’s just a quick hike. It was actually a bit longer than any of us realized, and we may have even gotten a little lost, but we eventually made it to the top! And when I sat down on a bench to take in the view Raf came over next to me and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! With my whole family there, and one friend even hiked it with a backpack of prosecco so we could celebrate… it was truly amazing! 

The Planning:

When we were ready to start planning the wedding, we figured it would be simple and considering I work in the event industry, we had a bit of an in. We knew we wanted it to be casual and fun, so we picked our date and decided on my dad’s backyard as the location. By the beginning of 2020 we were working through some of the big details, the food, the cake, who would marry us. At the end of February I went with my sisters to BHLDN and picked out my dress. And in the beginning of March I started working with a rental company to figure out the tent, tables and chairs… and then everything started shutting down. To be completely honest, I thought everything would close for a couple weeks and we would be back to normal in no time. But then the days, weeks and months started going by, we figured we would keep everything on hold and not make any more decisions until we got closer. And then we got close! And we had to figure out what we wanted to do. So many people were canceling or postponing their wedding. We knew we would get married on the day as we always planned but we had to start making calls on everything else. 

Invitations:

We never sent out a save the date, because at the time we really weren’t sure what we were going to do. So by the beginning of July we knew we had to get invitations out if we were going to move forward with everything. So after talking it over and looking up the guidelines we cut back our guest list to 100, which is still the current guideline for outdoor gatherings in Connecticut. We also decided to email the invitations. Our thought being that it will be easier to keep in contact with everyone if any changes need to be made. We set up our wedding website with more information, asking that our guests bring masks and letting them know we will supply a zoom link for the ceremony for anyone who is not comfortable attending in person. We really don’t want anyone feeling an obligation to be there if they are not comfortable or don’t feel safe. 

Ceremony:

For the ceremony, we are going to have a few rows of chairs set up but most of the guests will be standing. This was always our plan, as we want to have a pretty quick ceremony. Now we figure having people stand will allow for them to distance between groups and there will be plenty of room for people to spread out. 

Food:

We made some changes for our food plan too. We were initially planning a grazing table for cocktail hour followed by a buffet for dinner. Our current plan is to package snack boxes of cheese and crackers or hummus and veggies for cocktail hour so people won’t be touching or gathering around the food. For dinner we are having a food truck, so each person will get their individual plate of food with a packaged set of utensils. 

Dance Floor

We are going to have a dance floor, and I am hoping that people will want to dance. This is when I figure it will come in handy that guests bring masks. We will be outside as well and there will be room for people to dance in the grass off the dancefloor if it is too crowded for them to feel comfortable. 

Photography:

I learned this week, just about a month before the wedding, that our photographer had to back out due to health concerns and the coronavirus. Of course this was a huge bummer but considering the time it is totally understandable.  And I did panic a little but thankfully a friend of my sisters is going to come through for us to photograph the day. We are also still trying to figure out a hashtag, figuring everyone has phones and will be taking pictures. The day will be well documented and sometimes the random candid shots are the best ones.

A Surprise Bridal Shower:

I was so blessed last weekend to be treated to a surprise bridal shower put together by my sisters, Raf and my dad’s girlfriend. It was a complete surprise, I didn’t think, especially considering the pandemic, that I would get a shower and while it bummed me out I just focused on the wedding. So when I got to my dad’s house last weekend to see a handful of wonderful friends and the cutest decorations I was in shock. The back porch and patio were full of balloons and garlands, they had a spread of food and a bucket full of ice and prosecco! My sister even set up a photobooth and one of my favorite parts… a prosecco pong table! It was so special and so nice to see some friends, all of whom were happy that we are moving forward with the wedding which was encouraging to hear. 

A Prosecco pong table! how awesome is this!

At this point we have just over a month until the wedding day, and despite the craziness, it is coming together. I do have my moments where I panic and wonder if we are nuts or doing the wrong thing by holding an actual wedding but at this point I feel like I am better at rolling with the changes. One friend told me to focus on the fact that it will happen, not how it will happen. So it may not all look or play out exactly as I had originally envisioned, but the important part, that I get to marry my favorite person, has always and will always remain the focus of the day. And everything could still be turned on it’s head again within the next month.

I know there are other brides out there who are going through the same thing, trying to plan their big day while navigating this wild world we are currently living in. I hope that by sharing this, I can help someone else who is still trying to figure out how to pull their wedding off. If you have any other ideas or thoughts on having a wedding during the pandemic, please let me know, I would love to hear what other brides are planning.